Have you ever spent an entire day moving from one responsibility to another, only to reach the evening feeling exhausted and strangely dissatisfied? You've answered emails, handled interruptions, managed appointments, and crossed things off your list. Yet somehow, you still feel behind.
For many high-achieving women, this is a familiar experience. We've become so accustomed to juggling responsibilities that multitasking feels less like a choice and more like a requirement. But what if the very thing we're doing to stay on top of everything is contributing to our exhaustion?
The Hidden Cost of Constantly Switching Gears
What we call multitasking is often rapid task switching. Rather than giving two complex activities our full attention simultaneously, our brains repeatedly disengage from one task and reorient to another.
Each transition requires mental effort. While an individual interruption may seem insignificant, the cumulative effect can leave us feeling scattered, irritable, and mentally depleted.
I recently had the pleasure of contributing to a Project Healthy Minds article about the myth of multitasking. In it, I discussed how repeated shifts in attention can contribute to ongoing nervous system activation. It's something I frequently explore in my clinical work with people experiencing anxiety, burnout, and chronic stress.
When Productivity Becomes a Form of Pressure
For people with perfectionistic tendencies, being productive can become closely connected to feeling competent, valuable, or in control. Rest may feel undeserved until everything is finished. Unfortunately, everything is rarely finished.
Sometimes, constant activity also serves another purpose: it keeps us from noticing uncomfortable emotions. Slowing down can bring us face-to-face with feelings we've been too busy to acknowledge.
This doesn't mean that being productive is unhealthy or that multitasking is always problematic. It means that our relationship with productivity deserves some curiosity.
Are we choosing to stay busy, or does slowing down feel threatening?
Practicing Attention Without Turning It Into Another Assignment
One approach I often recommend is starting with a small experiment. Choose one activity and give it your attention for 10 to 15 minutes. Put your phone aside, silence notifications if possible, and notice what happens.
You might feel relieved. You might also feel restless, impatient, or compelled to check something else. None of those responses means you're doing it incorrectly.
The goal isn't to become an expert at single-tasking. It's to begin noticing your habits and creating opportunities for your nervous system to experience something different.
You Don't Have to Earn the Right to Slow Down
Many of us have internalized the belief that doing more means we're doing better. But a full schedule isn't necessarily a fulfilling one, and exhaustion isn't proof of accomplishment.
Learning to recognize when our nervous systems are overwhelmed can help us make more intentional choices about where we direct our energy. Sometimes the most useful thing we can do isn't to squeeze another task into the day, but to give ourselves permission to do one thing at a time.
Further reading: I was delighted to be invited back to contribute to Project Healthy Minds. You can read the full article, The Myth of Multitasking: Why Doing Less at Once Helps Your Brain, for additional insights and practical strategies.
Jenn Hoffman, LCSW, is the founder of Instar Healing, providing therapy for anxiety, trauma, perfectionism, and burnout to high-achieving women in Connecticut and New York.
